Throughout my life, this emotion made quite an impression on me and not only from my own experience. I have seen it expressed during conflicts among my friends. In addition, later, due to the nature of my work, I talked with people sharing their troubles with me, asking for help and advice. As a result, I gained some understanding of different shades of jealousy that are more often than not unfounded and sometimes arise from suspected or actual infidelity.
The intensity of this emotion depends on the type of relationship between a man and a woman, as well as on their individual set of character traits.
For example, strong jealousy comes over someone who, having considerable vanity, perceives his opponent as a loser compared to his exceptional self. In the case of rejection, this same vanity hurts his ego, resulting in jealousy, especially if the choice falls on someone else.
Or jealousy leads to constant, sometimes long-term mistrust, creating an unbearable atmosphere in the family or a relationship.
It also happens when a person displays jealousy toward the object of his desire without being given any reason to expect reciprocity. Nevertheless, jealousy continues, causing significant harm to those whom it is directed at. Severe jealousy not only can ruin one's mood but also cause physical pain, especially for sensitive people.
Jealousy (if it is not only heartache) always breeds a crowd of demons that tirelessly build a wall between two people, regardless of whether they love each other or are not in a serious relationship. But in the first case, the person will suffer a much more severe punishment because crimes against love are particularly heinous. "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Matthew 19:6). The person becomes a conductor of the Darkness, acquiring additional troubles for himself in the future.
There is no point in listing everything I saw and heard. Otherwise, it would be a novel, not an article.
If a relationship is based only on sensuality, passion, or motives other than love - it is usually short-lived. One "cools down" faster, and the other tries to live through heartache, which will last until... the next infatuation. If (in a rare case) love was genuine, the next passion would not help. It takes years to forget and cool off. A loving person will forgive betrayal over time, but it will remain in his memory forever.
The only way to resume your usual life is to change your attitude toward the act of betrayal. Convince your consciousness that it is not such a tragic event for you. You can either accept it and move on with your life without whining and complaining or admit your weakness. If you don't give in to your weakness, time and your willpower will gradually heal the wound. If you really did love, you would not wish any harm upon anyone because love is free of evil.
It can be helpful to take on some valuable, important project. Occupy yourself! Distract your consciousness from the oncoming pain by having constant responsibilities, and over time, closure will come.
A person for whom the soul is not an empty word must understand that in suffering, sometimes unbearable, there is redemption and building of a strong personality. And everything else that accompanies jealousy - resentment, vindictiveness, and ill will should leave your life as soon as possible.
Remember that love has no guarantees. It is a joint labor of two people who love each other, and if one is lagging, the couple will inevitably separate. Learn to love and give yourself in a relationship without demanding anything because the union of two hearts can only be natural, without coercion.
Do not be afraid of getting hurt; it is inevitable due to our mistakes. At the same time, the greater your suffering is, the faster you will shed the ballast of your past, and then you will rise a couple more steps on the path to the Light! That is, of course, if your goal is the Light!
Lutsenko, Y. N.
September 2023
